So my experience here in Roatan has been up and down. Most of the ups are the times I'm spending with the women in the workshop, teaching them jewelry techniques and them teaching me about their lives. Most of the downs have been with the sometimes demanding requests of my American week-long volunteers clashing with passive Honduran behavior. Yes, I used to be a week-long mission tripper myself but I see a different perspective now and am grateful for how I spent those trips sleeping on the church floor instead of at a beach resort. Nevertheless, I was able to get through some of the hard, soul-challenging dilemmas that arose, and found my refuge in the moments of conversation between the women at the jewelry table. I can sometimes remember looking around the table and realizing I was the only person besides the women themselves--the only "outsider"--that could understand what they were saying and that could fully take part in the sharing of life stories. That was pretty amazing.
So, from here on out, I'm just going to share tidbits from some of their more fascinating conversations:
One late morning, the issue of HIV and condom usage came up (a lot of hondurans i know love making sexual references whether appropriate or not and therefore the conversation im sure went from some random funny innuendo to a more intense, serious matter). We began to hit on key topics that I've heard and studied before like accessibility and costs of condoms, their acceptability among the community, etc, and then the conversation headed towards just what fascinates me the most: gender roles. A couple workers began to discuss how the "sistema ha fallado las mujeres" (system has failed women) because condoms always fall under the responsibility of the man...to buy, to bring, to bear. Before I could ask my questions (can women take the responsibility to bring condoms...are females condoms available here...are they used?), the conversation took an even more interesting turn: hombres que andan en la calle (men sleeping with other women).
One of my favorite women in the workshop, and certainly the most outspoken, put down her macrame board, gave a little attitude-im-about-to-say-something-so-listen-up wave of her hand, and said (in spanish), No, no, no...you see, it's the married women that' has the risk nowadays. How HIV goes around this place, if you're single, you'd be crazy to not put on a condom. But the married women...well what's she gonna do when her husband sleeps around and then comes home for his wife. She's not going to make him wear a condom, and she's not going to say no to sex because she's got her needs too. And passive women have it worst because they wont communicate with their husbands and they wont fight for themselves. But at the same time, they dont satisfy their husbands. So you know, it doesnt just fall on the husbands either. It falls on the communication between them both. A woman has to be willing to learn how to satisfy a man, be a little risky and explore. And the man has got to be faithful. Both have to trust too.
Yep, I wish I had a tape recorder. It was as if all the stories and explanations I've heard about in class regarding gender roles and HIV/AIDS was coming out of this woman's mouth. How responsibility falls on both sides and how communication between the two is the most important and crucial answer. Yet it seems pride and fear stand in the way.
As I looked around the group, I noticed some of the other women staying quite but nodding at times. I asked the group if this was the case, how do we change that. Their responses were few, saying that there was no way to really change it. I later asked how many had been infected by their husbands who had been previously unfaithful. Almost every head raised and gave me a nod. I couldn't believe it...and yet I also couldn't believe how upset and angered I was by it while they were so melancholy about it. As I was reflecting, one women interrumpted my thoughts to help me better understand their perspectives. She told me, Look, whats done is done. You can't go back. I've forgiven him. We have 2 kids and I love him. And so we've moved forward. We're both patients here at the clinic and we're doing well.
Here I was shocked and angered by the fact that each of these women, each of these women who I've been working with and have come to love, had been the exact examples of HIV transmission and gender imbalances/power relations. And yet they've forgiven, they have shown compassion, and they have moved on with their lives.
Sometimes I think because I come from the States and have heard about the "ravage" of HIV among the developing world, I have this acquired sense of intensity or obvious gravity of the situation. Sure, HIV is serious issue. And when you see patients who have progressed so far they have to be carried into the clinic, the intensity and gravity of the situation are given a face. But I feel like, in my experience, the focus is so much how horrible of a disease it is, that we don't focus so much on the hope and the compassion that people living with HIV carry with them daily.
I'll leave you with experience that really touched me. At the support group on Saturday, Dona Nilva* (a HIV veteran at the clinic and one of the workers I trained these last couple weeks) and I had a quiet moment when she was able to share some of her incredible testimony with me. At one point, she looked at me and said, Look, Johanna. Depression is serious. Some days, I wake up and I look at my pills and I think, My God, I have to live the rest of my life waking up to these pills. That's a depressing thought. But then, I try to think about thanking God for these pills. He's given me these pills so that I can live day after day. So that's what I think about and that's how I move forward.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
First Sales
Alright well after reading my last entry and remembering how critical and a little bitter I was feeling at the time I was writing it...I´ve decided to put in another entry, and only 3 days later hehe. Also influenced by the encouragement of my friend Jon Gilbert (yeah shout-out) who told me I should share the news.
Well, I´ve never been good at business. Even from those Central Elementary School days when we had to sell Peanut M&Ms as a fundraiser, I did not do well. I always felt bad or guilty, like I was cheating someone. I´m sure my parents remember my valiant efforts as I sat out in the pouring rain one Sunday afternoon in my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and raincoat with all the M&M bags neatly packaged in plastic baggies to protect them from the rain. I think I sold one bag that day to my neighbor who felt deep pity for the poor girl sitting in the rain all day. I guess I have had a way of pulling on heart strings at least.
Which is maybe why I did so well at selling this time around despite my lack of business sense. I mean, Fair Trade necklaces made by HIV patients in Honduras has got a pull-on-the-heart-strings kind of quality to it. Anyhow, whatever it was, God included, I had some real success on my first sales trip this week! I only went to 2 high-class tourist shops here on the island (Roatan) which have bought from us before and were interested in seeing more of our new line. Well, I went and they bought more than they had before! That means improvement and I really like improvement. The total sales for the day came out to $1250...isn´t that great??!! I can sell!
And you know what...I didn´t feel guilty like I had before because I know where the money goes, tu sabes? I have the privilege of working in the clinic itself, visiting the Lenca women and the coco women, communicating with the designer, interacting with the clients/vendors. All aspects of the program I have the opportunity to work with and so I know every aspect to which the funds will contribute. The workers don´t get to see where the materials come from. The designer doesn´t always get to see the places where their products are sold. A buyer doesn´t always get to see the hands who make the bracelet. But from design, to purchase of materials, to production, to distribution, I get to be a part of it all. That´s incredible. There are definitely times when I don´t enjoy my job and the responsibility that comes with being a part of all those different processes. But it is something I´ve come to realize is a real privilege...and it´s something that I´ve come to love.
Well, I´ve never been good at business. Even from those Central Elementary School days when we had to sell Peanut M&Ms as a fundraiser, I did not do well. I always felt bad or guilty, like I was cheating someone. I´m sure my parents remember my valiant efforts as I sat out in the pouring rain one Sunday afternoon in my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and raincoat with all the M&M bags neatly packaged in plastic baggies to protect them from the rain. I think I sold one bag that day to my neighbor who felt deep pity for the poor girl sitting in the rain all day. I guess I have had a way of pulling on heart strings at least.
Which is maybe why I did so well at selling this time around despite my lack of business sense. I mean, Fair Trade necklaces made by HIV patients in Honduras has got a pull-on-the-heart-strings kind of quality to it. Anyhow, whatever it was, God included, I had some real success on my first sales trip this week! I only went to 2 high-class tourist shops here on the island (Roatan) which have bought from us before and were interested in seeing more of our new line. Well, I went and they bought more than they had before! That means improvement and I really like improvement. The total sales for the day came out to $1250...isn´t that great??!! I can sell!
And you know what...I didn´t feel guilty like I had before because I know where the money goes, tu sabes? I have the privilege of working in the clinic itself, visiting the Lenca women and the coco women, communicating with the designer, interacting with the clients/vendors. All aspects of the program I have the opportunity to work with and so I know every aspect to which the funds will contribute. The workers don´t get to see where the materials come from. The designer doesn´t always get to see the places where their products are sold. A buyer doesn´t always get to see the hands who make the bracelet. But from design, to purchase of materials, to production, to distribution, I get to be a part of it all. That´s incredible. There are definitely times when I don´t enjoy my job and the responsibility that comes with being a part of all those different processes. But it is something I´ve come to realize is a real privilege...and it´s something that I´ve come to love.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
America
Hey...long time no talk. I know you´re all anxious to hear what I´ve been up to and why I haven´t written in 2 weeks. Well, things have been crazy busy here as deadlines began to approach. For the last 2 weeks I´ve been working at work and then working at home, trying to get all of our jewelry inventory at the the clinic workshop together and ready for my trip to Roatan (the island) where we sell to high end tourist shops and then I´ll be shipping what we don´t sell here off to the Americas of course. Well, north-Americas I suppose. In preparation for this trip I´ve been traveling all across Honduras gathering last minute materials and that, while enjoyable, has been very stressful. And I´ll tell you why...
I know I´m an American. And I know what people think of most Americans outside of America. Even in that last sentence I´ve shown it. United States-ans (estadounidenses) often don´t recognize Latin Americans as "American." After all, the phase ¨Proud to Be an American¨certainly doesn´t refer to all "Americans"...if if it did, maybe the people who so often sing that song or say that phrase wouldn´t be the same people passing judgement or putting up a wall to keep those other Americans on their respective side of the border. Now, I don´t mean to be oh-so-politically correct...but I had a recent experience that made me realize how much of an "norteamericana" I am, despite my efforts to look beyond the comfort of my life in the States and assimilate, even blend in, with the people and culture here.
Last week, I had to travel to a place called La Arada where a co-op of Lenca women live and make traditional Lenca (Honduran ethnic group) pottery. We order necklace pendants from them that are really nice pottery with different shapes and designs and then we use them in our jewelry line on macrame cords that the patients make at the clinic. Well I went there to pick up the pendants, but since we just started ordering from them and the last order they made was not well done, I had to spend 4 hours at their workshop evaluating each piece for correct shape, size, hole size and shape, design detail, correct burn of the clay, etc. In a nut shell, I was basically this middle-women, in some sort of in-between space, where I had to be firm on what I know of US standards and marketplace and yet respect the work of these women as an art form. Not every design is going to turn out the same. The process to make these clay pendants takes 3 weeks and there are going to be some that stay in the kiln longer and others that dry faster or are closer to the coils. Yet the US marketplace looks for perfection and inventory. Mass production if you will. Not one of a kind, never-gonna-happen again pieces. I felt like my "American" ways were creeping back into me, translating into my work and experience with these women who, let´s face it, need the money. I had to leave 200 pieces behind because they didn´t meet our standards. That´s 2000 lempiras. $100 US dollars. Imagine how many rice and beans that could buy.
Needless to say, I was in a state of emotional angst, mental frustration. On one hand I had to uphold the expectations laid upon me from the business aspect (after all the humanitarian mission that founds the organization and microenterprise can´t survive if we buy things we can´t sell)...and yet on the other hand I knew what I was withholding from those women. As I got back in the car trying to cope with my internal conflict, the reverend asks me what´s wrong. I told him that, well, I just felt very American and didn´t know how to accept or deal with that at the moment. He looked at me and made sure I knew that I was norteamericana...that all those in the Americas are Americans. And how I was feeling wasn´t just reflective of US perspectives or expectations, but that anyone running a business has to have his or her best interest in mind, whether Honduran or United States-an. He´s right I suppose. But I still find myself in this limbo-place...working for people in the States but working with native Hondurans every day...high Type A expectations meeting a passive Type B kind of reality...and a norteamericana no longer in Norteamerica.
I know I´m an American. And I know what people think of most Americans outside of America. Even in that last sentence I´ve shown it. United States-ans (estadounidenses) often don´t recognize Latin Americans as "American." After all, the phase ¨Proud to Be an American¨certainly doesn´t refer to all "Americans"...if if it did, maybe the people who so often sing that song or say that phrase wouldn´t be the same people passing judgement or putting up a wall to keep those other Americans on their respective side of the border. Now, I don´t mean to be oh-so-politically correct...but I had a recent experience that made me realize how much of an "norteamericana" I am, despite my efforts to look beyond the comfort of my life in the States and assimilate, even blend in, with the people and culture here.
Last week, I had to travel to a place called La Arada where a co-op of Lenca women live and make traditional Lenca (Honduran ethnic group) pottery. We order necklace pendants from them that are really nice pottery with different shapes and designs and then we use them in our jewelry line on macrame cords that the patients make at the clinic. Well I went there to pick up the pendants, but since we just started ordering from them and the last order they made was not well done, I had to spend 4 hours at their workshop evaluating each piece for correct shape, size, hole size and shape, design detail, correct burn of the clay, etc. In a nut shell, I was basically this middle-women, in some sort of in-between space, where I had to be firm on what I know of US standards and marketplace and yet respect the work of these women as an art form. Not every design is going to turn out the same. The process to make these clay pendants takes 3 weeks and there are going to be some that stay in the kiln longer and others that dry faster or are closer to the coils. Yet the US marketplace looks for perfection and inventory. Mass production if you will. Not one of a kind, never-gonna-happen again pieces. I felt like my "American" ways were creeping back into me, translating into my work and experience with these women who, let´s face it, need the money. I had to leave 200 pieces behind because they didn´t meet our standards. That´s 2000 lempiras. $100 US dollars. Imagine how many rice and beans that could buy.
Needless to say, I was in a state of emotional angst, mental frustration. On one hand I had to uphold the expectations laid upon me from the business aspect (after all the humanitarian mission that founds the organization and microenterprise can´t survive if we buy things we can´t sell)...and yet on the other hand I knew what I was withholding from those women. As I got back in the car trying to cope with my internal conflict, the reverend asks me what´s wrong. I told him that, well, I just felt very American and didn´t know how to accept or deal with that at the moment. He looked at me and made sure I knew that I was norteamericana...that all those in the Americas are Americans. And how I was feeling wasn´t just reflective of US perspectives or expectations, but that anyone running a business has to have his or her best interest in mind, whether Honduran or United States-an. He´s right I suppose. But I still find myself in this limbo-place...working for people in the States but working with native Hondurans every day...high Type A expectations meeting a passive Type B kind of reality...and a norteamericana no longer in Norteamerica.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
just some Johanna storytelling
Hello again everyone! I could just about write a post for everyday this past week because many many different things have happened. But let me just tell some stories…
Story #1: This past Monday we had the Siempre Unidos bi-annual conference where all the staff from Siguatepeque, San Pedro Sula, and Roatan came for training on the current trends in HIV research, the psychosocial aspect of treating HIV patients, and a workshop in “Calidad en el Servicio del Cliente” (Quality in Client Services). The first lecture on current trends in HIV research was I’m pretty sure straight out of my classes at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. In fact, I think they stole some slides from an online lecture at Hopkins because a few slides were in English and resembled very closely the PowerPoint presentations of some of my previous professors…haha. It was great though because I felt really knowledgeable for my first time here, as if my school work now meant something. Having a public health degree hasn’t prepared me to take blood pressure or give injections like the nurses, it hasn’t prepared me to know the exact dosages or regimens of antiretrovirals that our doctors prescribe, but finally, I knew and could contribute when the conversation turned to research on the biology of the virus, issues of drug adherence and treatment failure, best practices on preventing mother-to-child transmission, and all that stuff…you know…(right Mom?) Many of the staff aren’t specialized in HIV (many have bachelor’s degrees in Administration or Business), so it was nice to be able to really see the avenues in which I could use my knowledge and background to help educate staff and patients, who for the last 3 weeks have been my educators.
The only difficulty was that everything was in Spanish so while it was very beneficial to learn the Spanish vocabulary of HIV research, I still ended up sounding like a 12 year old when I tried to communicate information I knew. Well…I’m still working on it.
Story #2: The other day one of my workers called practically in hysterics and was describing the bruises she had on her face and legs. She had called to say she didn’t think she’d be able to walk to work tomorrow and I could have sworn she said “me golpeó” which means “hit me.” This woman has had a lot of problems in the past regarding family and men and so I was inclined to think that someone had physically abused her. Well I immediately called the nurse and she said we would go to visit her tomorrow. Well as the day passed and the nurse had other patients to see, I still wanted to go make the effort to see my worker and bring her ibuprofen or something to help with the swelling or any pain she might have. So I made my first solo home visit. Well, not exactly solo because another woman who “knew the way” came with me, but she has a mental disability and forgot the way so I ended up having to navigate…but it was certainly a fun adventure with her :) Once we arrived to my worker’s home which was significantly far away, I gave her a big hug and we went inside to chat. I come to find out it was the floor that “me golpeó” and not a person, because she fell really hard while she was cooking and bruised herself up pretty badly.
I felt kind of pointless at first that I had made the long trip thinking that this women had been a victim of violence, when in reality she had just fallen down. But little by little I could see that my short-lived presence in her home meant a lot to her. She mentioned that the previous volunteer had visited everyone but her and how that had made her sad. She also was thrilled I could see her new home…she had just moved in 8 days ago and it is the first time she’s lived in a home with cement floors and light. Yep. Yet as I sat in this little home, filled with flies and dirty water tanks, surrounded by other little shacks and muddy dirt roads, I could still take one look out the kitchen window and the most beautiful mountain valley was right there staring back at me. A diamond in the rough. It was absolutely gorgeous and visiting her in her home has really helped me to better understand her on many different levels. I hope I get the opportunity to visit all the workers at their homes because it really is something special. I don't know, there's just something about being in someone's home, their place, that connects you more fully with their life and their dreams.
Story #3: I finally found friends to play soccer with!!!! I met this Honduran guy at the gym who told me I could play with him and his friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so they picked me up and we went! It was sort of like indoor soccer but on really terrible “turf” and the guys were really macho-like players. One guy who must have been 30 years older than me kept on making comments to get in my head and mess with me. Boo…I shoved him later don’t worry. But the group of guys (and 1 other girl, yay!) I played with are super nice (and attractive, haha). They are also the first Hondurans I’ve met who know how to salsa dance, so I’m excited to go out dancing with them at some point in the future :)
Okay, well as my Mom would say, “That’s enough storytelling from Jo today.” So I’ll let you all go. But it’s been a pleasure sharing with you and I hope you didn’t get too bored. Miss you all!
Story #1: This past Monday we had the Siempre Unidos bi-annual conference where all the staff from Siguatepeque, San Pedro Sula, and Roatan came for training on the current trends in HIV research, the psychosocial aspect of treating HIV patients, and a workshop in “Calidad en el Servicio del Cliente” (Quality in Client Services). The first lecture on current trends in HIV research was I’m pretty sure straight out of my classes at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. In fact, I think they stole some slides from an online lecture at Hopkins because a few slides were in English and resembled very closely the PowerPoint presentations of some of my previous professors…haha. It was great though because I felt really knowledgeable for my first time here, as if my school work now meant something. Having a public health degree hasn’t prepared me to take blood pressure or give injections like the nurses, it hasn’t prepared me to know the exact dosages or regimens of antiretrovirals that our doctors prescribe, but finally, I knew and could contribute when the conversation turned to research on the biology of the virus, issues of drug adherence and treatment failure, best practices on preventing mother-to-child transmission, and all that stuff…you know…(right Mom?) Many of the staff aren’t specialized in HIV (many have bachelor’s degrees in Administration or Business), so it was nice to be able to really see the avenues in which I could use my knowledge and background to help educate staff and patients, who for the last 3 weeks have been my educators.
The only difficulty was that everything was in Spanish so while it was very beneficial to learn the Spanish vocabulary of HIV research, I still ended up sounding like a 12 year old when I tried to communicate information I knew. Well…I’m still working on it.
Story #2: The other day one of my workers called practically in hysterics and was describing the bruises she had on her face and legs. She had called to say she didn’t think she’d be able to walk to work tomorrow and I could have sworn she said “me golpeó” which means “hit me.” This woman has had a lot of problems in the past regarding family and men and so I was inclined to think that someone had physically abused her. Well I immediately called the nurse and she said we would go to visit her tomorrow. Well as the day passed and the nurse had other patients to see, I still wanted to go make the effort to see my worker and bring her ibuprofen or something to help with the swelling or any pain she might have. So I made my first solo home visit. Well, not exactly solo because another woman who “knew the way” came with me, but she has a mental disability and forgot the way so I ended up having to navigate…but it was certainly a fun adventure with her :) Once we arrived to my worker’s home which was significantly far away, I gave her a big hug and we went inside to chat. I come to find out it was the floor that “me golpeó” and not a person, because she fell really hard while she was cooking and bruised herself up pretty badly.
I felt kind of pointless at first that I had made the long trip thinking that this women had been a victim of violence, when in reality she had just fallen down. But little by little I could see that my short-lived presence in her home meant a lot to her. She mentioned that the previous volunteer had visited everyone but her and how that had made her sad. She also was thrilled I could see her new home…she had just moved in 8 days ago and it is the first time she’s lived in a home with cement floors and light. Yep. Yet as I sat in this little home, filled with flies and dirty water tanks, surrounded by other little shacks and muddy dirt roads, I could still take one look out the kitchen window and the most beautiful mountain valley was right there staring back at me. A diamond in the rough. It was absolutely gorgeous and visiting her in her home has really helped me to better understand her on many different levels. I hope I get the opportunity to visit all the workers at their homes because it really is something special. I don't know, there's just something about being in someone's home, their place, that connects you more fully with their life and their dreams.
Story #3: I finally found friends to play soccer with!!!! I met this Honduran guy at the gym who told me I could play with him and his friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so they picked me up and we went! It was sort of like indoor soccer but on really terrible “turf” and the guys were really macho-like players. One guy who must have been 30 years older than me kept on making comments to get in my head and mess with me. Boo…I shoved him later don’t worry. But the group of guys (and 1 other girl, yay!) I played with are super nice (and attractive, haha). They are also the first Hondurans I’ve met who know how to salsa dance, so I’m excited to go out dancing with them at some point in the future :)
Okay, well as my Mom would say, “That’s enough storytelling from Jo today.” So I’ll let you all go. But it’s been a pleasure sharing with you and I hope you didn’t get too bored. Miss you all!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Feliz Cumpleanos a mi!
Well yesterday was my birthday (22, ayyy que vieja soy) and it was definitely a good relaxing time! Though I did get asked questions like "Why are you not married yet?", I fortunately spent most of the day with my Siempre Unidos friends who are in their late twenties and not married which made me feel better about those inquiries. Also, THANKS SO MUCH to all of you who sent along birthday wishes...it was sooooo wonderful to hear from you all and it definitely made my day...I miss you all so much!
Well, before I get to discussing my birthday celebrations, I spent this last weekend in San Pedro Sula, the second largest city in Honduras where the Siempre Unidos headquarters are and I was able to go out with some of my friends from work, go to "la feria" which is an annual carnival on June 29 in San Pedro, and just relax. The feria/carnival was exactly likely the States it almost scared me. I mean, I wasn't sure what to expect. Carnival in the DR is very different from "carnivals" in the States. But here, their carnival was just the same...tons of little shops selling all kinds of knock off purses and clothes and random items, 5 huge rows of stalls for horses and cows and little chicks that you could pet and feed, a rodeo, games for kids and rides like the feris wheel. The only difference was that bachata and reggaeton were playing in the background as opposed to country music. But it was nice to just walk around...I went with my friend Geraldina and her family. She has 2 kids Carlitos and Andrea who are just darling and I got to play with them and take them around the carnival so that was fun.
For my birthday on Monday, el reverendo (and Siempre Unidos director) took me out to a typical Honduran breakfast (eggs, sausage, beans, tortillas, platanos) and we were able to discuss "business" as well which was actually very helpful. Then, he and the other staff surprised me later in the day with a "Feliz Cumpleanos" balloon and lunch at Pizza Hut (haha, I was actually quite okay with this...I had had enough frijoles and tortillas). A lot of the staff came and I had to dance merengue with the waiter in front of everyone as they sang me the feliz cumpleanos song...great, right? haha, well fortunately I am one americana that knows her merengue moves. They were all pretty surprised and totally loved it. They all agreed we were most definitely going merengue dancing next time I'm in town. No complaints here. Later that evening I had the fortune of finding an open computer with free internet at the place I was staying, so I pretty much spent the night on the internet and reading Paulo Coehlo, which seems like a LAME birthday evening but you have no idea how wonderful it was. I haven't had the opportunity to be online for more than a half hour/hour at a time, so to have a computer at my disposal with free internet for as long as I wanted was a fabulous birthday gift let me tell you. Plus it gave me a chance to see all your wonderful birthday wishes on my actual birthday! :)
Alright, well in other news, this week we have vacation from work, so I'm spending it getting better acquainted with the city, purchasing a mirror (haven't looked in one since I arrived...yikes), and joining the gym nearby because let's face it, tortillas/rice each day for lunch at the clinic does not serve my body type well. I'm just itching to get on a treadmill.
Thanks again to everyone for the birthday wishes and I hope all is going fabulously for you!!! Hasta luego!!
Well, before I get to discussing my birthday celebrations, I spent this last weekend in San Pedro Sula, the second largest city in Honduras where the Siempre Unidos headquarters are and I was able to go out with some of my friends from work, go to "la feria" which is an annual carnival on June 29 in San Pedro, and just relax. The feria/carnival was exactly likely the States it almost scared me. I mean, I wasn't sure what to expect. Carnival in the DR is very different from "carnivals" in the States. But here, their carnival was just the same...tons of little shops selling all kinds of knock off purses and clothes and random items, 5 huge rows of stalls for horses and cows and little chicks that you could pet and feed, a rodeo, games for kids and rides like the feris wheel. The only difference was that bachata and reggaeton were playing in the background as opposed to country music. But it was nice to just walk around...I went with my friend Geraldina and her family. She has 2 kids Carlitos and Andrea who are just darling and I got to play with them and take them around the carnival so that was fun.
For my birthday on Monday, el reverendo (and Siempre Unidos director) took me out to a typical Honduran breakfast (eggs, sausage, beans, tortillas, platanos) and we were able to discuss "business" as well which was actually very helpful. Then, he and the other staff surprised me later in the day with a "Feliz Cumpleanos" balloon and lunch at Pizza Hut (haha, I was actually quite okay with this...I had had enough frijoles and tortillas). A lot of the staff came and I had to dance merengue with the waiter in front of everyone as they sang me the feliz cumpleanos song...great, right? haha, well fortunately I am one americana that knows her merengue moves. They were all pretty surprised and totally loved it. They all agreed we were most definitely going merengue dancing next time I'm in town. No complaints here. Later that evening I had the fortune of finding an open computer with free internet at the place I was staying, so I pretty much spent the night on the internet and reading Paulo Coehlo, which seems like a LAME birthday evening but you have no idea how wonderful it was. I haven't had the opportunity to be online for more than a half hour/hour at a time, so to have a computer at my disposal with free internet for as long as I wanted was a fabulous birthday gift let me tell you. Plus it gave me a chance to see all your wonderful birthday wishes on my actual birthday! :)
Alright, well in other news, this week we have vacation from work, so I'm spending it getting better acquainted with the city, purchasing a mirror (haven't looked in one since I arrived...yikes), and joining the gym nearby because let's face it, tortillas/rice each day for lunch at the clinic does not serve my body type well. I'm just itching to get on a treadmill.
Thanks again to everyone for the birthday wishes and I hope all is going fabulously for you!!! Hasta luego!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
so it's been a whole week in my new "hometown"...for real?
Wow...so I can't believe a week has passed so fast. I arrived here in Siguatepeque, my new "hometown," and have since been...working. haha. How exciting. But it's what I asked for and soooo much more.
My first day at work was, well, rough. I obviously didn't know the workers too well yet and I had so many new material that they just wanted to get started on them before listening to what the new designs were like and practicing them. I guess I would be anxious too if I was working on macrame cords for the last 3 weeks. Despite some stress and confusion, I was able to get to know them better, how each individual works, how I could best delegate, etc. Within the last week, we've improved a lot and have made great progress on some of the new jewelry designs. Honduran spanish and slang was hard to pick up at first, and I still most definitely have my difficulties, but it's getting better and better. Now, I can finally understand a lot of the workers jokes and make jokes right along with them. That's how you know you're finally immersing into another language: 1) when you can understand and make jokes, and 2) when you understand everything they say on the radio.
I did have the fortune however to speak english yesterday, for the first time since I arrived. I met up with a few young women who are American and teach at a couple of the local bilingual schools. It was a nice reprieve--to not have to think so much when talking...and they had tons of great advice for me. One has a map of Siguat to copy for me, another introduced me to some new Honduran "cuisine" (aka another version of rice, beans, and cheese), and the other had loads to divulge about how she got "played" by several Honduran men who had several other girlfriends. Well, it is pretty machista here...even more so than in the DR which I didn't think was possible...but it's been the topic of conversation with many of my co-workers which has lead to some interesting insights about gender and empowerment. Naturally my conversations would lead to that, right?
For example, the staff and I were joking about something I had done and somehow the conversation got to how women are "punished" if they do something bad/wrong in the house. Henry, the farmacist, told me that women have kneal on top of a pile of sand or some other form of sand-like material and stay knealing until the man says she can get up. Evidently it's a Honduran "custom." Henry said women sometimes went weeks on their knees...upon telling me that, I immediately jumped up from my seat and said, "ay yo no...yo puedo correr rapido" (Ay not me! I can run fast.) I think my independent aura and refusal to accept subordinance has surprised people quite a bit...it all started when I asked if I could play soccer with the guys and they looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I am...but at the same time, I'm totally serious about it...haha. In the meantime, I'll be going to watch the guys game tomorrow and maybe I'll find a girls team or work my way into playing with them some time in the near future :)
Alright, well there's so much I could say in terms of experiences and stories I could tell, but at least this was a little update on my life here. My apartment is beautiful but sometimes lonely, the sound on my computer isn't working so that makes things even more quite. Until, of course, the gallinas (chicken/rooster) in the trees (seriously, they nest in the trees in my backyard!) starting crowing on the hour from 10pm to 9am...yeah that's not fun. Gilman, my lizard housemate, keeps me company though...and with time, I hope my apartment will be a great hang out place. It's right in the middle of town and across the street from this lovely bakery with wireless internet. Pretty nice :) Okay, well that is all for now. After the support group at the clinic on Saturday, I'll be headed to San Pedro Sula for the annual feria and then I'll be there for my birthday on Monday :) So, in the meantime, just looking forward to all that is to come! Hasta entonces, cuidense mucho!
My first day at work was, well, rough. I obviously didn't know the workers too well yet and I had so many new material that they just wanted to get started on them before listening to what the new designs were like and practicing them. I guess I would be anxious too if I was working on macrame cords for the last 3 weeks. Despite some stress and confusion, I was able to get to know them better, how each individual works, how I could best delegate, etc. Within the last week, we've improved a lot and have made great progress on some of the new jewelry designs. Honduran spanish and slang was hard to pick up at first, and I still most definitely have my difficulties, but it's getting better and better. Now, I can finally understand a lot of the workers jokes and make jokes right along with them. That's how you know you're finally immersing into another language: 1) when you can understand and make jokes, and 2) when you understand everything they say on the radio.
I did have the fortune however to speak english yesterday, for the first time since I arrived. I met up with a few young women who are American and teach at a couple of the local bilingual schools. It was a nice reprieve--to not have to think so much when talking...and they had tons of great advice for me. One has a map of Siguat to copy for me, another introduced me to some new Honduran "cuisine" (aka another version of rice, beans, and cheese), and the other had loads to divulge about how she got "played" by several Honduran men who had several other girlfriends. Well, it is pretty machista here...even more so than in the DR which I didn't think was possible...but it's been the topic of conversation with many of my co-workers which has lead to some interesting insights about gender and empowerment. Naturally my conversations would lead to that, right?
For example, the staff and I were joking about something I had done and somehow the conversation got to how women are "punished" if they do something bad/wrong in the house. Henry, the farmacist, told me that women have kneal on top of a pile of sand or some other form of sand-like material and stay knealing until the man says she can get up. Evidently it's a Honduran "custom." Henry said women sometimes went weeks on their knees...upon telling me that, I immediately jumped up from my seat and said, "ay yo no...yo puedo correr rapido" (Ay not me! I can run fast.) I think my independent aura and refusal to accept subordinance has surprised people quite a bit...it all started when I asked if I could play soccer with the guys and they looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I am...but at the same time, I'm totally serious about it...haha. In the meantime, I'll be going to watch the guys game tomorrow and maybe I'll find a girls team or work my way into playing with them some time in the near future :)
Alright, well there's so much I could say in terms of experiences and stories I could tell, but at least this was a little update on my life here. My apartment is beautiful but sometimes lonely, the sound on my computer isn't working so that makes things even more quite. Until, of course, the gallinas (chicken/rooster) in the trees (seriously, they nest in the trees in my backyard!) starting crowing on the hour from 10pm to 9am...yeah that's not fun. Gilman, my lizard housemate, keeps me company though...and with time, I hope my apartment will be a great hang out place. It's right in the middle of town and across the street from this lovely bakery with wireless internet. Pretty nice :) Okay, well that is all for now. After the support group at the clinic on Saturday, I'll be headed to San Pedro Sula for the annual feria and then I'll be there for my birthday on Monday :) So, in the meantime, just looking forward to all that is to come! Hasta entonces, cuidense mucho!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm here...por fin!
Hello all!
Well, I've made it to Honduras after one intense week of jewelry-making training. Now I have all kinds of jewelry skills you wouldn't imagine...and my perfectionistic tendencies are serving well for quality control...haha. Anyhow, I've arrived in San Pedro Sula and have spent the last 2 days meeting the patients and staff and learning all about the different programs at Siempre Unidos. They have several prevention programs that I'm really interested in and hope to be a part of in my "free time." Tomorrow though I head to Siguatepeque where I will live and work at the clinic and jewelry workshop that employs several of the HIV patients. Though I haven't yet made it to Siguat, I've already had some crazy and emotional experiences.
Personally, I've had a roller coaster of emotions, of the stress from the last month graduating and preparing for my new life in Honduras and then along with the disappointment I felt when I arrived here and in all honesty, didn't really like it (the environment, the accent, the food). But I realized I've been comparing it a lot to the DR and though I didn't fall in love with the country right away like I did the DR, I still need to give it time. Also, I'm not here to fall in love with a country, I'm here to work, to learn about the lives of those living with HIV/AIDS, and the lives of those health workers trying so hard to help and minister and treat their patients. I'm here for work, for experience, for the daily grind (thanks to all those who have helped me better understand that). And today, I had an interesting and intensely real experience that helped me accept that even more...
Though I met several people and patients yesterday, today I had the opportunity to sit in with the nurse and be a part of the medical outreach. Since I worked in a prenatal HIV clinic in the DR, I thought it would be relatively similar, just reviewing their status and giving information and such. Well, it was a lot more intense than that. With all due respect to this man and his family, I have to say that for the first time in my life I watched a man almost die of AIDS today. The young man was brought in by his daughter and sister, after he collapsed on the floor. He was diagnosed with HIV several years ago but hadn't followed his treatment regimen and had fallen seriously ill about 2 weeks ago, but didn't want to see a physician. When they brought him in, he was so weak and frail. He could hardly walk or talk or even respond, his eyes were somewhat glazed over, he was sweating from fever and wheezing as we moved him into the clinic bed. The Siempre Unidos clinic is really an ambulatory service and so he had to leave immediately for the hospital, but as his family went to call a friend to pick them up and the nurse left to prepare an injection, I was left alone with him in the clinic room. I wasn't sure how to react, what to say. I'd never sat beside a man literally about to die of AIDS. What was he thinking at that moment? What should I be thinking or doing at that moment?
And then, he began to reach into his pants. I started freaking out; I didn't know what was about to happen until he began to pee all over the hospital floor. Ah, okay, ya entiendo. Yet still, there I was, alone with this suffering man as he peed. Not gonna lie, a little awkward on my second day, but then again if you gotta pee, you gotta pee, even if you are practically incapacitated. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how the man is doing now. A staff member carried him into a taxi to go directly to the hospital. We gave the family a packet of Pampers for while they'd be waiting there, just in case. He didn't look good, and who knows how long it was/will be before the doctors actually saw/see him at the emergency room. Perhaps I'll never know...but, for now, I'm saying a prayer.
Well, I've made it to Honduras after one intense week of jewelry-making training. Now I have all kinds of jewelry skills you wouldn't imagine...and my perfectionistic tendencies are serving well for quality control...haha. Anyhow, I've arrived in San Pedro Sula and have spent the last 2 days meeting the patients and staff and learning all about the different programs at Siempre Unidos. They have several prevention programs that I'm really interested in and hope to be a part of in my "free time." Tomorrow though I head to Siguatepeque where I will live and work at the clinic and jewelry workshop that employs several of the HIV patients. Though I haven't yet made it to Siguat, I've already had some crazy and emotional experiences.
Personally, I've had a roller coaster of emotions, of the stress from the last month graduating and preparing for my new life in Honduras and then along with the disappointment I felt when I arrived here and in all honesty, didn't really like it (the environment, the accent, the food). But I realized I've been comparing it a lot to the DR and though I didn't fall in love with the country right away like I did the DR, I still need to give it time. Also, I'm not here to fall in love with a country, I'm here to work, to learn about the lives of those living with HIV/AIDS, and the lives of those health workers trying so hard to help and minister and treat their patients. I'm here for work, for experience, for the daily grind (thanks to all those who have helped me better understand that). And today, I had an interesting and intensely real experience that helped me accept that even more...
Though I met several people and patients yesterday, today I had the opportunity to sit in with the nurse and be a part of the medical outreach. Since I worked in a prenatal HIV clinic in the DR, I thought it would be relatively similar, just reviewing their status and giving information and such. Well, it was a lot more intense than that. With all due respect to this man and his family, I have to say that for the first time in my life I watched a man almost die of AIDS today. The young man was brought in by his daughter and sister, after he collapsed on the floor. He was diagnosed with HIV several years ago but hadn't followed his treatment regimen and had fallen seriously ill about 2 weeks ago, but didn't want to see a physician. When they brought him in, he was so weak and frail. He could hardly walk or talk or even respond, his eyes were somewhat glazed over, he was sweating from fever and wheezing as we moved him into the clinic bed. The Siempre Unidos clinic is really an ambulatory service and so he had to leave immediately for the hospital, but as his family went to call a friend to pick them up and the nurse left to prepare an injection, I was left alone with him in the clinic room. I wasn't sure how to react, what to say. I'd never sat beside a man literally about to die of AIDS. What was he thinking at that moment? What should I be thinking or doing at that moment?
And then, he began to reach into his pants. I started freaking out; I didn't know what was about to happen until he began to pee all over the hospital floor. Ah, okay, ya entiendo. Yet still, there I was, alone with this suffering man as he peed. Not gonna lie, a little awkward on my second day, but then again if you gotta pee, you gotta pee, even if you are practically incapacitated. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how the man is doing now. A staff member carried him into a taxi to go directly to the hospital. We gave the family a packet of Pampers for while they'd be waiting there, just in case. He didn't look good, and who knows how long it was/will be before the doctors actually saw/see him at the emergency room. Perhaps I'll never know...but, for now, I'm saying a prayer.
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